Questions

My pulmonologist got me through a serious illness a few years ago and I respect him for that. But as I've gotten to know him better, he seems more comfortable asking me about homeschooling. And I feel more uncomfortable answering his questions. (His wife was a public school teacher.)

Every homeschooling mom's radar picks up the subtle thoughts behind the questions. "How long do you plan to homeschool?" "Are your kids involved in outside activities?" "Do you have any other families you interact with?" Interpretation: Surely you're not going to continue this through high school! Your kids do associate with "normal" kids, don't they? They aren't isolated from the world, are they? I always feel the need to assure him we are quite fine, thank you.

This last visit he focused on me. After a discussion about my health, I happened to say I am only so concerned because of my girls. I've never been one to obsess over aches or pains or illness. So the doctor now thinks I'm obsessed with my daughters. He says, "What do you do for fun?" Fun? The question takes me by surprise. He elaborates, "Do you have any hobbies?" Who has time for hobbies? I try to think...yes, I do quilting. Right now I've making quilts for my grandchildren. Oh, that plays right into his stereotype. He gives me a knowing smile. He's sure now I'm holed up in my house, alone with my girls and my sewing machine.

I didn't tell him this: I've never been more at peace in all my life. It is the contentment of being totally at the center of God's will, doing exactly the work He's called me to do at this moment in time. It's not about fun or hobbies. It's the joy of spending the days with my precious daughters, raising them to be godly women, enjoying their desire for knowledge and celebrating their achievements. I value this time to let them grow at their own pace, keeping them children for as long as possible, not pushed to adulthood ahead of schedule by our culture. The world will never understand this.

Testing

My special ed reading teacher friend offered to test my daughter in reading so Liana will be prepared for the California Achievement Test she must take in January, as required by our state. We drove to Colleen's house on Election Day and she generously gave Liana about two hours of her time, and I was able to listen in from the next room. My difficult daughter amazed me!

Liana alternated between reading a passage aloud and then answering questions, to reading silently and then answering questions. I heard no complaint from her and there were no tears. She was cooperative and willing to do all that Colleen asked of her. Liana has never in her life read so much for so long! Results: Colleen said reading is difficult for her but she is reading on level and I should continue teaching her on grade level. We need to review some forgotten phonics concepts and push sight words that seem to hold her up. She reads slowly, but she can do it! That was encouraging to me. We will keep plugging away. Some other advice from my friend was helpful too. I should ask Liana to look for certain facts or ideas in the story before she begins, so she can anticipate what might happen. I should also ask increasing more complex questions about the story after she reads it and also allow her to ask me questions about it. Liana loved that part. Colleen also said she should read independently below her instructional level. I've found she then doesn't protest and actually seems to enjoy reading.

I've wondered for awhile about some sensory-overload issues and one thing Colleen said confirmed this. Liana's comprehension is better when she reads silently. (I would have thought the opposite--that she would skip over words.) Colleen said she understands more because she isn't trying to articulate words plus keep track of the story. A homeschooling friend of mine gave me another great idea--I read a page from the book, then Liana reads a page. Then the passage doesn't seem so overwhelming to her and we end up actually reading more.

Recipe for Delight

1 empty plastic juice or soda bottle
1 wooden chopstick
birdseed
wire

Poke the chopstick through the bottom of the bottle and out the other side. This is a perch. Cut small holes above each end of the stick in the bottle. Fill the bottle with birdseed. Attach feeder to a tree branch with the wire. Hang it near a window so you can see it well. Watch closely.

This was Liana's science project in her study of birds. (Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day.) Within an hour of hanging the feeder we had a flock of white-breasted nuthatches zipping around our huge lilac tree. (Yes, tree. It's almost as tall as the house!) Then we saw a bird I never in all my years have seen before--a tufted titmouse! The next day dozens of tiny black-capped chickadees arrived. The girls and I sat right under the tree on the deck for a good half-hour one sunny morning and still the birds came. They seem to have no fear of us. How enchanting they are! We are so much enjoying these beautiful, cheery creatures. And this is school? Liana is logging each bird in the chamois-covered explorer's journal we made.

Field Trip

On a beautiful October day we headed off to camp once again. Twice a year this camp holds an Outdoor Education Day for homeschoolers. The kids go off with counselors to learn something new about God's creation and moms get some down time to chat. This season the children learned about atoms and were able to observe some experiments on chemical change.

We came together for lunch and then the rest of the afternoon it was free time on our own. We took a long hayride through the property and then explored the woods. We once again tried the rowboats. Arielle and I just get frustrated when we go in circles. It is not our thing. We couldn't wait to get back to shore. My friend Connie went back out with her daughter, and Liana wanted to go with them. Connie said Liana was pretty good at rowing.

A suspension bridge crosses the shallow creek and it is a favorite of the girls. They criss-crossed it several times. We are studying the Oregon Trail right now and a covered wagon sits right out in the middle of the field, so the girls were able to explore that too.

We have all been working hard the past month and this was the perfect day to just enjoy the lovely weather and get together with friends. We leave tired, but refreshed.

Fine-Tuning

After about six weeks, it's time to evaluate and make some adjustments. What is working well? What isn't? I admit I've been a little lax with the schedule, especially our starting time. When I don't seem to be hurrying to get ready for school, the girls don't either. The church chimes across the street announce it is 9:00 and the girls are dilly-dallying in their rooms. Also, I need some quick lunch ideas so I don't spend so much time preparing food for our noon break. If lunch goes too long, we all lose interest in getting back to school. What does everyone else do for lunch? My girls hate sandwiches, so that makes it hard.

We are doing more creative writing this year. It's part of Arielle's Abeka language arts, to her dismay. For Liana, this is what she craves, so I have an additional poetry book for her. It is called Writing Poetry with Children. The difference in my two girls is summed up in this conversation.

Liana: "Why can't we work on writing poems today?" Arielle: "I better not have to do any poetry!" Liana learned about couplets and wrote a poem about India (her latest passion). I told her I would post it. Arielle is actually doing some interesting journal entries and I am impressed with her thoughtfulness.

Spelling has been a problem for Liana. How can she learn 20 words in a week? She just can't do repetitive work such as writing them out over and over. It would be absolute torture for her. I want to channel her energy in a more productive work. Using the words in different exercises didn't seem to work so well either. So we make flash cards. I write each word, broken up by syllables on 3X5 cards. She uses a marker to go over the letters and then cuts each card into pieces like a puzzle. (Kinesthetic learner.) For example, "attention" has 3 syllables, so three parts to the card. Each day she puts the puzzles together and reviews the words. We also write them out each day and talk about what's tricky about certain ones or which ones "follow the rules" and are spelled just like they sound. I make up silly sayings like: skaters have to pract-ICE on the ICE. We still do Stair Day for an oral quiz. Overall, she is actually doing quite well.

I am a pretty rigid homeschool mom. I like to follow the books. This worked fine with Arielle, but it does not work with Liana. I am being constantly stretched and challenged, but I am learning how to teach her. After a lot of headache, I bounced this idea off my friend, a relaxed homeschool mom. I told her I was abandoning the Abeka reading program for Liana. (It still scares me to do this.) My friend congratulated me and said simply, "Read good books with her!" My goal is to inspire this child of mine to love reading. How can I do that when she struggles with her reader and hates every minute? My breakthrough came when I checked out from the library an adapted version of The Secret Garden. It was a Level 3 book and Liana could read it. In fact, she asked to read more than I required of her! This was a big event for us. I will search high and low for GOOD stories and forget the curriculum. For now. Not that there is anything wrong with the Abeka reading program. Arielle loves the stories in her readers and each day tells me, "That was a good one. You should read it, Mom."

First Week

We finished our first week sucessfully! Amazingly, it seemed I had more time in the day since starting school than I did all summer. Our days were relaxed and fun. The girls didn't even bicker or complain much. Peace reigned! I thank God for that. (Hey, someone must have been praying for us! Thank you!) We're off to a good start.

I will list why I think our week went well to remind myself when the going gets tough so I can see where we strayed from the path.

1. Schedule! I ran a tight ship. We began each day promptly at 9:00. The girls have a list of things to do before school and worked diligently to complete them. Liana is not a clock-watcher, so she had to be reminded a few times that it was time to move on. I expect her to eventually do this on her own. Last year at lunch we sometimes got sidetracked--I would do laundry or some dinner prep and the girls took full advantage by fooling around for an hour. Then no one felt like returning to school. No more! We ate lunch and moved on to finish our school work.

2. Positive attitudes! We began with prayer and devotion time. We are using a book called A Virtuous Girl: A Bible Study for Elementary Aged Girls by Michelle Zoppa. Right now we are discussing good character. I am encouraging the girls rather than criticizing and it certainly works a lot better. Liana just plain cannot work with losing privileges or anything negative held over her head. She still has trouble fidgeting and focusing on her reading, but she is trying so much harder when I stay positive and praise her effort.

3. Teaching Textbooks! This has freed up so much of my time! Arielle enjoys doing her math on the computer and I am still able to check her work. She is already on lesson 15 because she started it on her own over the summer. I do need to make sure to provide some oversight and keep up with what she is doing. A written textbook is provided and I need to read it.

4. Beautiful weather! What a great week it was--sunny and cool in the mornings when we took our break. Each day we walk outside and admire the Rose of Sharon and mums blooming, check the dying status of our vegetable garden and look for treasures in the grass. So far Arielle found cardinal and blue jay feathers and Liana found an owl feather.

5. Assigned days for history and science. Last year it was just too much to try to cram history and science into one day. And of course, science got left behind just because it harder to teach. This year we will do two days of science and three days of history. One of the history days we are working on a state book I ordered from Abeka for each of the girls. They can cut out pictures to paste in it and look up interesting facts. They wanted to work on this all week. Isn't it great when kids say, "Can't we do more?"

6. Keep the fond memories of last year. We haven't changed everything. The girls begged to continue Thursday as "Stair Day" where we take an oral spelling test on the stairs. They start at the bottom and move up a step if they spell a word correctly. For each correct word, they also get an M&M. Such a small thing that brings them joy. On Friday we take a regular spelling test on paper, but I think it is good they use a different part of their brain by spelling their words orally.

Next week we have our yearly trip to the beach--just for one night this year but the girls can't wait. After that, I know we will face some difficult weeks, but maybe we will have more successes than battles.

Snowball in Summer

We began school today. How did summer go by so quickly? I am so anxious to get off to a good start and not fall back into patterns of relating to each other that are detrimental to learning. The girls and I had earlier held a school planning meeting at our local Panera's over breakfast. We made up a list of ideas to make our school more interesting so we could learn more.

My dear friend in Colorado sent me a beautiful verse. One day while the girls were playing with some Modge Podge, cutting out pictures of flowers from a Burpee catalong and gluing them to wood, I decided to make my own little plaque. It will be on my desk to remind me HOW to teach as well as WHY I am teaching. The verse is Deuteronomy 32:2,3.

"Let my teaching fall like rain

And my words descend like dew,

Like showers on new grass,

Like abundant rain on tender plants.

I will proclaim the name of the Lord.

Oh, praise the greatness of our God!"

I admit that sometimes my teaching falls like a sudden summer thunderstorm rather than gentle rain to nourish tender plants.

We had a special surprise for our break today. Last winter I wrapped up a snowball and stored it in the freezer. Maybe the girls knew about it, but they had long forgotten it. They were delighted to play with the snowball today in the yard!

We had a great first day. I got the best compliment of all from Liana. She said, "School was fun!"

4-H Fashion Revue

I had a conversation with a mom whose three daughters are in public school. She wishes to homeschool but her husband does not agree that it is the best for their family. She describes herself as a "traditional" mom and is troubled by the attitudes her daughters are exposed to and imitate.

We also discussed extra-curricular activities. She said there is pressure to participate in everything that comes along. You don't want your children to miss any opportunity to broaden their horizons. She has decided to cut back and be discerning in choosing what activities to do. I came to the same point with my girls. It was getting too stressful and we were running ourselves ragged trying to keep up driving them here and there every evening. Also, financially we could not keep up with it all. But we did find one great organization! 4-H!

On my other blog I described how we found our niche in 4-H two years ago. My girls enjoy sewing and this is the second outfit Arielle has made. Every Saturday morning she spends three hours with a volunteer who teaches her to sew. This year she had Mrs. Martha, a dear elderly woman with a gentle and kind spirit who patiently taught her. I am so grateful to Martha for caring for my daughter!

The season ended with a fashion show. What fun it was to watch all the girls cross the stage in the clothing they created. Once again, Arielle won a ribbon and is eligible for the regional revue. But the winning is not what is important. Arielle learned perseverance and patience, to stick with the sometimes tedious steps of garment construction. She enjoyed the fellowship of other girls sewing alongside her. She learned from the example of Mrs. Martha.

The 4-H adventure doesn't end here. In July we will work on organizing the fabric sale that helps to fund the sewing projects so parents only pay $12 for a whole year of 4-H. (What a bargain when compared to other activities.) Then in August the girls will have their projects on display at the 4-H County Fair. For anyone also at a crossroads in deciding on outside activities, we highly recommend 4-H.

Moms' Day Out

Every year for two full days I attend our local homeschool conference. It's a struggle to arrange care for the girls and coordinate everyone's schedule but once again it all worked out so I could go. My friend and I drove through the countryside early in the morning full of excitement. What would God reveal to us? How could we make our homeschools better? How can we better connect with our children and build our relationships with them--so much more important than any academic learning that takes place.

We didn't have a plan of approach to the conference because both of us had been so rattled by the earlier week's events. (And it is certainly better to come prepared.) For me, I had spent many hours on the dreaded PORTFOLIO, an end-of-the-year state requirement. But that's a topic for another day. So spur of the moment, we chose the lectures we would attend. We made good choices!

We heard Ginger Plowman, Tammy Duby and Susan Kemmerer. Each of these godly women imparted a wealth of wisdom on a variety of topics. Here are some of the gems we took home:

• Good advice on training our children in righteousness--getting to the heart of their behavior with thoughtful questions to help them understand their motives and make better decisions.
• Good advice on practical matters for moms--how to keep our homes in order and have time to cook healthy meals.
• Relief from guilt--that our homes are not orderly and spotless, that some people are just disorganized when it comes to keeping house. Unless you're just plain lazy, it's not a sin, just differences in personalities. Disorganized people are project-driven rather than time-driven.
• Relief from guilt--that we might we leaving gaps in our children's education. We can't teach everything. No one can, not even public or private schools. We need to get serious before God and seek his will for our particular children. Then we choose the gaps we will leave. Our goal is to grow life-long learners. If we leave a gap that our child later on desires to learn, she will be equipped to pursue that interest on her own.
• LAPBOOKS! Wow! What a great idea! I kept hearing this word but could not get a picture in my mind of what they were. Now I know. Tammy Duby had a mini-workshop and all of us moms created one in an hour. What fun we had! My girls will love this. To top it off, someone was giving away an old set of encyclopedias and I hauled them out to the car. They will provide many pictures to cut out and add to our lapbooks.

My friend and I came home refreshed, inspired, and encouraged. I am grateful to God that he has allowed me the privilege of teaching my children at home. Yes, it is exhausting work at times. But it is the work God has called me to do and he will give me everything I need to do it. I'm ready to begin the new school year tomorrow!

Slow Learner--Me!

I believe God chooses our children. Each one is exactly right for us, to challenge us, to teach us life lessons, and to bless us with joy. We are just the right mom for that particular child too, the one to help her on her journey to become the person God created her to be.

Arielle has always been so easy to teach. We have the same learning style. We're detail-oriented, logical, and goal-driven. If I want to explain a concept to her, I tell her in a way that makes sense to me and she understands. Liana is so different. She is challenging me to change my teaching style to suit her unique needs. Gradually I've learned not to try to mold her to my vision of who she should be, but rather allow her to be who she is. Isn't that what homeschooling is all about?

I'm learning to leave behind my straight and narrow road with the clear goal in sight and let her take the wandering path and trust that it will lead to the same outcome. Liana does her work better if she's allowed 20 minutes of poetry reading before we begin each morning. She hates her phonics reader but doesn't complain about reading books on bamboo flutes or Egypt or John James Audubon--her latest interest. That sparked her desire to learn bird calls and now she wants to study birds next year. Well, that wasn't on my agenda for science, but I think we should pursue it. Maybe she is ready to move beyond excavating the terra cotta warriors for awhile.

I'm dense sometimes, and most veteran homeschooling moms already know these things. But maybe it's not too late for me or for Liana. And maybe Arielle would enjoy an adventure of her own along the way.

Poetry

Liana is in love. We read the poem "The Lamplighter" by Robert Louis Stevenson awhile back . She was so captivated by the picture it created and the rhythm of it that she promptly memorized it. Since then we have come across several of Stevenson's works in our reading. Liana has been asking for a whole book of just his poems.

I was in Barnes and Noble and came upon a display of poetry books for children. I didn't know but April is National Poetry month. Arielle and I were never poetry fans. When she was younger we had books of poems that were part of her curriculum. We would dutifully read them and she would do a thumbs-up if she liked it and thumbs-down if she did not. Most were thumbs-down. They just didn't grab her and she would say, "I don't get it." I usually agreed.

I glanced over the display of books of various poets looking for Liana's favorite. There it was! I skimmed through it and although I did not see "The Lamplighter" I saw another one that Liana enjoys--"Where Go the Boats?"--and was pleased with the beautiful illustrations in the book that I knew she would love.

My purchase was a success. The book has a little bio of Robert Louis Stevenson in the beginning and Liana and I read about his frequent illnesses as a child and his great imagination as he lay in bed unable to play outside. Liana is mesmerized by the imagery in his poems. This is a child who several years ago couldn't sit still long enough to hear a whole story but now never wants me to stop reading Stevenson. She notes from time to time that she is just like him. Yes, Liana is always imagining, always thinking of something other than what is readily seen and at hand. One day after reading, Liana closed her book and held it tight to her chest with a faraway look on her face. She's found her soul-mate.

When at home at last I sit
And am very tired of it,
I have just to shut my eyes
To go sailing through the skies--
To go sailing far away
To the pleasant land of Play...
(RLS from "The Little Land")

Joy

"When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy." Matthew 2:10.

Lord, thank you for our church and for dedicated teachers, sacrificially give their time to teach my children. Thank you for friends and family. Thank you for filling our lives with joy.

For the past few months the girls have been practicing for the Christmas musical at church. This will be their third program and they just love singing and performing. The children's choir director believes any child who wants a solo speaking or singing part should have one, so even if it is only one line in a song, that child gets his or her moment of glory. I've seen my girls blossom on the stage from shy and fearful to bold and confident. Last year Arielle said she would never sing alone, but this season she sang her solo part beautifully.

Fred and I sat watching the show surrounded by friends and family--my new friend Colleen's 10-year old daughter who was adopted from Ukraine only a few months ago was also in the choir. My old friend Bonnie came with her daughters, one of them lived her first year of life in the crib next to Liana's at the orphanage in China. I hope Liana and Sara will be forever friends. Behind me sat my dear friend Connie whose Chinese daughter was also in the musical. Connie and her family will soon travel to Russia to adopt their 13-year old son, Sergei.

All of us here are bound by our commitment and call to adoption. I look at each of these precious children on stage and think what wondrous gifts of joy they are to us. Thanks be to God for sending his Son to this earth as a little child. We celebrate our Savior's birth tonight! But we also praise God for these children he brought into our lives.